D and the Detective
by fire-emblem-girl
Summary: Insecurities about his brother, an animal even D can't control, a murder to deal with and his own strange feelings developing for the Count-what's a Detective Leon Orcot to do? Leon/D.
1. Chapter 1

For a challenge on Aarinfantasy ;D so it's been x posted from there.

D and the Detective

Chapter One

"Huh, Leon, you're not in Chinatown today?" Jill looked thoughtful for a second then clapped her hands together once, "I've got it. You and the Count are fighting again."

The blonde man scowled at her, "why the hell would I spend all my time with that freak show anyway?!"

"So I'm right? Well…you should at least go see Chris right?"

Leon slouched forward, his chin in his hand. She had a point. Sort of. In a ridiculous, totally non-sensical Count obsessed way. His gaze slid from his computer screen to the woman's face. It was arranged in a smile and her eyes were closed.

"I've got a point, I know! Anyway, either get out of here or you can sit here and do paper work. I mean…you did let that perp get away last week…"

"Okay, fine, I fuckin' get it!" he slammed his hands on the desk and stood up, "it's only because I don't want to do paperwork."

The man stomped from the office but stopped to turn around, "and I didn't let the perp get away!"

Jill giggled to herself then plunked down in Leon's chair-there was lots of paperwork to be done.

_Dammmit. What's with that grin of hers? Like I really want to spend all my time with a feminine man who calls me an idiot! _His blood boiled just thinking of it. If she loved the Count so much _she_ could go live with the mental case for all he cared. And what the hell was she implying when she told him to go visit Chris?! _Because God knows he wants me around when he's got all those other freaks around to keep him entertained. But he is my brother. Dammit I'm __**not**__ a horrible big brother!_

He stomped his way to the curb then hailed a taxi, got in, sat there, paid, got out then stomped some more up to the door of the pet shop. The entrance had looked like any other Asian oriented store when he first came here-an easy job he had told himself. _It'll be __**eeeeeasy. **_He thought to himself as he repeatedly mentally hit his head against a brick wall. How could he have known the owner of this god forsaken opium den pet shop would turn out to be a man who wore dresses and got manicures weekly and who also had a penchant for selling horrible animals that killed all their owners in increasingly gruesome ways? How?! He couldn't have, that was how. And now, **now** he was forced to return to the pet shop on a daily basis (and thus forced to come into contact with said girly man who got weekly manicures and wore dresses) to see his little brother. Who he had willingly thrown into the wolf, lion, bird, stupid man eating "mermaid" and idiotic sheep thing's den. _I'm a horrible big brother. _

What only made things worse was that the Count seemed to know when he was coming and prepared the correct amount of sugar coma inducing sweets and that tea that tasted like crap. _Shit, I forgot to bring him a cake or something. _

"Oh my dear Detective are you just going to stand outside my door like a loiterer?" came the hopelessly effeminate sounding voice through the door.

"Cut out that dear Detective crap I told you!" Leon snapped as the portal to all things trippy swung open.

The smell of incense was enough to make anyone feel nauseous but luckily the effect wore off somewhat when you visited the shop almost everyday of the week. Unfortunately the lack of visibility didn't.

"Have you come to see Christopher?"

"Ugh, don't call him that. And yeah, I have. You got a problem with that?!"

The Count smiled that annoying smile of his, "of course not. He is your little brother Mr. Detective. Why don't you come in?"

"Yeah yeah," he grumbled, "where's that stupid sheep dog thing?"

D strolled further into the store until they reached the tea "room". Leon took up the entire couch by himself so after some quiet muttering to himself about the inconsiderate nature of certain Americans the Chinese man sat opposite the detective on an armchair.

"You mean T-chan. He went with Chris…topher to go get some cake for the party."

_Bastard. You called him that just to piss me off. _But he had to ask.

"What party? You better not be getting my brother into your crazy Asian opium parties! I could arrest you right now!"

The black haired man's nose wrinkled in distaste, "My _dear_ Detective, please refrain from showering me in your spit. I am as usual doing nothing warranting such a reaction. What a flair for the dramatic you have."

"You are and I'll prove it! …Someday, I'll prove you're selling something illegal!" Leon clenched his fist and stood with one foot on the table, "and when that day comes I won't go easy on you! I'll slap those handcuffs on so fast-"

"Oh my. I must admit, the thought is so…_frightening_," the last word came out, no matter how anyone looked at it, more sarcastic than a Shakespearean play. Or was it ironic that plays were?

That warranted what he called a Class 2 Count anger outbreak-mild to normal level of annoyance coupled with raised eyebrows, sarcastic remarks and/or small threats of physical violence.

"Don't say it like that!"

"Well if you would stop threatening to 'throw me in the slammer' every time you came to visit perhaps I wouldn't be so tempted to say things 'like that'," D returned, his odd coloured eyes giving him a death glare.

…_He should never, ever say 'throw me in the slammer' ever again. _His face nearly cracked as he tried to restrain himself from laughing himself into a stupor at the animal loving weirdo's use of colloquial language. _Keep it together. He'll kill you if you laugh. No, seriously, he probably will and Chris won't even know or care because he probably likes this freak better because he has animals. _Leon sprawled back across the couch and sighed,

"What party?"

"Oh don't worry, nothing _you _would be interested in my dear Leon."

He sighed, not bothering to hide his annoyance, "try me."

"Why, it's a fundraiser for a local animal shelter. It's black tie and doesn't include the devouring of helpless animals which is why I don't think you will be interested."

"You're right. I'm not. But if you're dragging Chris there I'm coming too! There's no way you're getting him into trouble with your weird friends!" Leon slammed his hand down on the table sending silverware tumbling into the air and spilling D's tea all over the place.

"You can't come. I'm only allowed to bring on guest and it's Chris. Therefore you aren't invited."

_Oh yeah? Oh yeah? You think you're gonna keep me outta some stupid PETA party that easy? HA. _

"Now, my dear detective kindly fetch me a towel so I can clean up the mess you made. These are antiques you know, and needless to say they would warrant quite a huge garnish of your wages at the department."

The Count's eyes closed and his mouth turned up at the corners-he was pleased with himself no doubt. But being happy never tended to last very long. The annoying pet shop owner's happiness could turn to annoyance, even anger in a split second. And it was usually Leon that caused it.

"Shut up," he crammed a miniature cake into his mouth and stomped off in a totally random direction in the hopes he would find where D kept his towels.

"In the kitchen Detective!"

_Yeah, but __**where's**__ the kitchen?_ Leon steered clear of the big, ancient looking door he knew led into the maze that was the Count's opium den…_wait a minute! Now's the perfect time to nail that bastard!_ With that stupid sheep thing gone there would be no one to stop him from exploring a little. The man had to repress a self-satisfied laugh. Oh yeah, he'd definitely get that freak now!

He tiptoed across the shop and back to the door. It stared back at him (assuming doors in this shop had eyes) and seemed to issue a warning with its black wood which Leon steadfastly ignored. Once he managed to wrench the door open the entire world was plunged into darkness. _Woah, aren't there supposed to be lights back here?_ He didn't waste time trying to adjust however; D would no doubt know exactly where he'd gone and now was the opportunity to put as much distance between them as humanly possible.

Corridors wound around into black holes and then back into each other. As he walked little pinpricks of light exploded into being like stars on a dark canvas. _Dammit! Screw this, I'm opening some doors! _There wasn't any shortage of them either. One led to a completely dark room, another to what looked like a storage room and then finally, at the end of a particularly long hallway…

"Why hello Detective! Did you get lost, this isn't the kitchen."

"Uh…yeah…"

D put a hand on his back and pushed him forward propelling both of them back into the light.

"What the hell?! What did you do?!"

"If you weren't so fixated on finding some imaginary illegal operation then I wouldn't have had to do anything Mr. Orcot," the Asian narrowed his eyes, "now if you would take a seat in the sitting room…"

_Damn. What just happened?! I was in that room…that huge ass bed and all those…maybe that was his bedroom! Ugh! Who knows what I would have seen in there?! _He sat down on the couch again and before he could even think about different strategies to sneak back there D returned. And god knew what the weirdo could do-maybe read his mind. _Great. So now he's even more of a freak._

"Your brother should be returning momentarily my dear detective. You spend so much time at work I'm surprised he even remembers you."

"What the hell is your problem!? I'll beat you so hard you won't be able to-"

The stupid sheep burst into the shop bringing with it Chris and the badger. Even though he was fairly sure seeing his big brother holding the Count by the collar wasn't unusual Leon let the freak go as soon a Chris got inside.

"Hey Chris, what's up?" he grinned sheepishly.

"Ah, I'll take the package. Thank you Chris, you're so much more helpful than a certain someone."

The boy just smiled hoping perhaps that he could get away with not answering at all. Either way Leon patted him on the head as if to remind his little brother that they were in fact related and as such should protect each other from the freak show. Even if the weirdo did have animals that all seemed to have taken a liking to Chris. _Blood is thicker than water, Blood is thicker than water._

"Don't start bashing me in front of my kid brother!"

"Did I say Detective Orcot is a buffoon who does not appear to have any fine motor skills?" the Count stared at him, his weird eyes digging a hole through the blonde's.

"I-Insulting an officer! I could arrest you right now!" he stammered out while reaching for his handcuffs and finding them to be missing, "you damn sheep give those ba-OW! I'll turn you into fuckin' haggis!"

At that all the surrounding animals leapt at him each getting their own bite or scratch in until he was left resembling human spaghetti. And of course all the while D just stood there, his overly long fingers entwined with each other and wearing the stupid smile again. But it was D who moved first to patch him up. Even if he did say how much the dim witted detective deserved his fate. Repeatedly.

It stung. It stung so bad he wanted to punch someone-preferably D for putting him through this hell. Why had he let the crazy man/woman use his damn Chinese medicine on him anyway?! What had he been thinking?! It stung like a mother and smelt bad too; like a cocktail of various liquids that all came together in one horrible smelling skin burning concoction. And that grin. Of all the annoying things the effeminate man could've done he had to go and smile like he was happy to be killing his only _human_ friend. Other than Chris.

"My Dear Leon you seem to be in pain. Does this hurt?" the Chinese man tilted his head to one side and proceeded to jab one of the cotton balls harder against the detective's arm.

"AHH! YES YOU ASSHOLE I'LL TORCH THIS PLACE I SWEAR!"

"Now, now Detective haven't you learned? It's best not to threaten me in my pet shop."

Leon entire body shuddered unwillingly at the sudden darkness that had overtaken the other man's face and tone of voice. Mass murders he could take but this side of D? No way. The black haired Asian's mouth turned down at the corners, his eyebrows drawn close together and the delicate chin tilted so that the bobbed locks of hair fell into his pale face. But then the moment passed. Leon was able to take in air again.

"Now, good as new," one of the claw like nails skimmed the surface of the officer's face, "we wouldn't want you to be impaired from finding a wife now would we?"

He stood up, knocking the hand away and glared down at D, "I don't see you gettin' a girlfriend either!"

The Count didn't answer, only smiled that same smile and packed up his first aid kit.

"That's not an answer! What the hell is with you!? I might as well have just called you a homo!"

_Not that that would be surprising…_

"You forget my dear detective…" the Chinese got to his feet and leaned in so his face was inches from the blonde's, "I don't associate with humans."

And then he walked away his hips moving from side to side. Kind of like a girl's. Leon leaned back on the sofa with a sigh. His hand immediately went to his eyes effectively blocking out all the light. _Dammit! This isn't the first time…_D was too girly for his own good.

"Huh? Oh, hey Chris. What's up buddy?"

The man looked down at his brother's round face and grinned-having a brother was nice. Especially a little one that was so quiet like Chris. _Kind of wish he'd talk a bit though…_

"What do you think of the Count? You like it here? Don't blame you, it's better than my apartment even if there is that stupid…" he stopped himself from going any further than that. All he needed was to dump all his stupid insecurities about D on Chris.

"Chris? Would you like to take your bath now?"

As usual they seemed to communicate through ways other than human speech and Chris bounded off to wherever the bathroom was in the place. D carried yet another pot of tea and sat down.

"You won't be able to sleep tonight if you drink that now. Goddamn sugar addicted…"

"Oh? You assume I sleep my dear Leon."

"Hmph."

They sat in silence-D sipping his tea while Q-chan hovered around the cake as if debating whether he should eat some and Leon leaning his head back on the couch. Despite all of the potentially dangerous animals lurking about the shop he felt his eyes closing. The incense. It had to be the incense. _Damn…drugs…damn…D…_

~~**~~

"Oh my dear detective~"

His snore cut out and became a series of grunts. For a second a panicked shockwave ran through his body-D was gonna find and rip down all his sexy posters! Again. Except that they weren't in his apartment. They were in the pet shop. Specifically in the tea room where he'd fallen asleep in the first place.

"What the hell is goin' on? Why'd you drug me?!"

He heard a laugh but everything remained dark. Until he realized he still had his eyes closed and opened them to see the Count's face just over top of his.

"Drug you? Oh my! I did nothing of the sort. You simply fell asleep of your own volition."

Leon pushed the other guy out of the way and sat up, knocking Pon-chan and a bunch of cats off the end of the sofa. He pointed a finger so it nearly made contact with D's nose.

"I wouldn't fall asleep here on my own and I can prove it!"

The Asian stepped back and turned on his heel. After walking a few steps he stopped and glanced over his shoulder, "oh, and detective? Try to keep me out of your dreams next time?"

"What?! What do you mean!? What the hell-you-come back here I'll-I'll-" he reached out to grab the back of the other man's clothing but found himself staggering past him without so much as a thread between his fingers.

"Don't wander off dear Leon~"

_What the hell is this?! Where's Chris where's my gun?! _He stomped around tearing cushions off the couch and shaking out the bright red blanket that had been covering him just moments before.

"D!"

Either he couldn't be heard or he was being ignored-either way he didn't get an answer. _Stupid bastard probably took it. "I will not have you carrying a gun around my beloved animals detective" yeah, that's exactly what he thought. I oughta…_

"COUNT! Where's my brother?!"

The black haired man came back into view, "Where? Probably with Phillipe. They are good friends."

_Phillipe? Is he keeping more illegal kids in here?! And a French kid too! Dammit if this gets out…_The blonde ran a hand through his disheveled hair. How sad was it that he couldn't even keep track of his own little brother and that weirdo could? He scowled-it was all D's fault. Him and his damn animals winning over Chris! But there really was no way he could bring the kid to live in his apartment.

"You!" he slammed his hand down on the table, "it's all your damn fault!"

"What is my dear detective?"

"HUH!? D you…you bastard! My little brother…stop stealing him from me!"

He half expected D to burst into laughter but the Count just smiled, "Oh my dear Detective is that what is bothering you? Well, no need to worry."

"You-I'm gonna arrest you right now!"

"Dear Leon, calm down. You'll make T-chan angry. Chris speaks of you all the time," the Asian man strolled over and set the pistol and handcuffs on the table.

"That's a crime. Stealing an officer of the law's firearms!" Leon snapped as he pulled them over to himself. _Come back baby. I won't let that freak steal you anymore_. But he sighed, "Chris never talks to me. What the hell's so special about a dude in a dress anyway?!"

"It's not a dress! And he doesn't speak to you because you don't listen properly!"

_Right. I don't listen properly. What the hell, how could I have not guessed? And it is so a dress._

"Then teach me dammit!"

Silence rang out in the air. Neither man spoke until the doorbell rang and D excused himself. Despite being curious as to who the client was Leon stayed where he was. The person would probably be lead back here anyway-for morning tea.

"Welcome to my pet shop. Please come with me and have some tea where we can further discuss your options."

The customer was a girl, probably around 13. Brunette with big eyes and skinny. Maybe a bit too skinny even.

"Please, take a seat on the chair," D motioned to the place he usually sat and stared until Leon moved down the couch.

"Hey! What're you buyin' here huh?!"

He got a slap from D but kept on pressing for information throughout the session. He wanted to know what was going on-he wanted to know _bad_! But before he could even think of following them behind the door it was slammed in his face and locked behind them. _That's weird…he never locks the door…he must really want to keep me out…I HAVE TO GET IN THERE!_

As he began to work on beating the door down he felt an odd tugging sensation at the bottom of his pants.

"Just wait a second."

It persisted.

"I said wait alright?!"

But he looked down to see the raccoon. She stared up at him with black eyes just before clawing her way up his leg.

"OW! What Pon-chan what?!"

She climbed right onto his shoulder and perched there precariously until he put a hand up to steady her. _What does she want? Maybe she's a distraction. Dammit!_ Leon pulled her off and set the little raccoon on the floor. Where she promptly leapt back onto his leg.

"Pon-chan, I'm tryin' to go in there to see the damn Count!"

He had nearly gotten her off of him for the 3rd time when the door swung open and hit him in the nose. He let out a shout and recoiled holding his poor face.

"D dyou asshole dyou hid me righd in de-oh Chris."

The boy's eyes immediately widened and he started to step backwards.

"No, hey, I'm alride. See? Good as new."

_Dammit it hurts more than I thought it would._ Leon rubbed his nose but grinned. He patted the smaller version of himself on the head-his nose wasn't spewing blood or anything so he figured it'd be okay. Besides, he had to put on a good face for Chris.

"Aw, come on Chris it's okay!"

The boy's lower lip twitched but he nodded and squared his tiny shoulders. _Phew. _He had dodged a bullet with that one for sure. Luckily his little brother seemed to get over his accidental attack of Leon fairly quickly or at least quick enough to drag the man along with him through the doors. _Yes! I bet Chris knows the way to everything by now! _

The corridors wound around until he was sure they were heading back to the main room, the lights lit up by themselves as the brothers made their way through the halls. Finally they moved through a door and into a room that definitely had to be an illusion. How could there be an _ocean _in a pet shop?! Leon felt his mouth fall open then snapped it shut-_there's no place like this around here! _He turned his head in every direction. The air smelled of salt and reminded him of some half remembered place lurking just beyond his memory. Blue water stretched for miles meeting white sand beneath his feet. Waves crashed against the shore every so often-kind of like when he put a shell to his ear except it was the real thing. _This…There's no way this is real!_

"Hey, Chris, where is this?"

He couldn't say he thought Chris would answer back verbally though the hope had crossed his mind since being a witness against D didn't work too well if the kid couldn't communicate. _I could find a lot of people to take the stand…if D didn't kill them all! _Leon frowned until Chris grabbed onto his arm again, pointing at something in the water. As they approached it remained stationary other than moving along with the waves. _Is that…a kid?_ The man blinked and the thing turned into a dolphin. _Huh. Must've been the light or something. _

"Chris, the Count didn't say anything about having a place like this in here."

_And this is an exotic animal! HA, got you now freak! _The blonde grinned, ignoring Chris pulling on his hand to go closer and turned on his heel-_I'm taking this to the chief right now! _ Only he couldn't find the door. There had to be a door _somewhere_ otherwise how could they have gotten inside!? He put his hands on either side of his head.

"What the hell!? D where the hell are you?! Let me out of here!"

End of Chapter

The place Leon can't quite remember is the island from Deep(volume 8)! ^^


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the reviews everyone, it's great to see PSoH is still loved! :D I'm aware this isn't sobwb for those who are following it. I'm considering editing it to get rid of useless/overly long chapters...Plus I need to show my PSoH pride!

Chapter Two

Leon sat with his arms crossed over his chest-_this is the second damn time he's caught me!_ Other than a scathing appraisal of Leon's appearance the Count had allowed him to escape to his apartment in one piece. _How was I supposed to know that he wanted me to help him reach something?! It's his damn fault he's so short! _ Of course Chris had gotten off scot free and got sent off to play while his older brother got torn into. To make matters works his Boss had snapped about a series of murders occurring throughout the city-like Leon had personally caused them of course-then put him on the case. The report lay open in front of him recounting the details in succinct sentences and 12 point font that made his eyes hurt. _Too spread out to find a connection…but with the same MO can't just ignore the possibility…Damn, if I didn't know that bastard hasn't sold anything weird…Other than that girl he hasn't had a customer in awhile. Shit! _He ran a hand through his hair.

He would have to bring D something tomorrow and try to coax some information from the weirdo. But for the time being beer and TV were calling his name. Loudly. Or wait, maybe that was Jill. She knocked on the door 3 more times before the man forced himself to answer it. _What the hell does she want? _The woman stood outside his apartment, three suitcases at her feet.

"Hi Leon! Shape up or ship out, I need a place to stay! Please?"

_I thought you would go to D first since you have such a crush on the thing. _He raised an eyebrow, "what the hell is that supposed to mean?! This is a great place!"

Jill laughed, "relax, I'm kidding! Anyway thanks, it's just for a few days."

"Yeah, no problem. I kinda owe you. I guess."

"That's right! So what're you up to? Reading the case file? Weird stuff huh?"

He froze-_I've got all those Playboy posters up. Aw shit! _All he needed was Jill telling everyone he was a pervert-which was completely normal for a guy his age!-and them making fun of him even more. _The Chief'll probably dock my pay for it even! _

"Oh you're such a…healthy man Leon," she covered her mouth with her hand, snickering, "does the Count know about this?"

_Why the hell does that matter?!_ He stared at her, doing his best imitation of D he could, "last time he was here he threw out all my best mag-…"

That only made her laugh harder. Hard enough that she had to wipe tears from her eyes, "maybe he was jealous!"

_I think you've got D's character pegged wrong. Really fuckin' wrong. _He carried her bags to his room(which was more like a glorified closet) and dropped them onto his bed. _Should've changed the sheets or something…shit, D's got me thinking like a sissy! _She smiled, trying to hold back more laughter.

"Thanks Leon. Nice…Nice décor."

_Don't insult Ms. February '97!_ He eyed the cardboard cut out of the Sports Illustrated model for a minute-_And D said it was tacky. What kind of guy doesn't like her?! _

"You want a beer?"

"No I'm just gonna go to bed. It's been a long day," she let out a sigh, "doing all that paper work and everything."

"You offered! Besides, I had shit to do!" Leon scowled. _Like get yelled at. "Good night."_

"Night Leon. Thanks again. Try to get some sleep so you can deal with the Count tomorrow!"

Why did everyone always have to pick on _him_?

~~**~~

His back cracked loudly when he raised himself from his couch/new sleeping space. The TV still flashed pictures at him though soundlessly. A newscaster mouthed words with an emotionless face along to a small clip playing in the corner of the screen. Even with the tiny picture he could still pick out Police tape cordoning off a large part of the pier and dove for the remote. _Is this about the murders? They're getting more frequent. Damn. _Jill sat on the arm of the couch, her hair hadn't been done yet so it still fell in a sheet onto her shoulders. She remained focused on the TV until the segment ended when she turned to him.

"This case is really heating up. 4 murders in a week."

"And no suspects either."

"Guess we should get some food in us and head into the office huh? Something tells me today's gonna be a hard one."

~~**~~

A myriad of cakes sat under a force field of backlit glass. Each one had its merits-the chocolate one with its intricate icing, the vanilla's understated taste and carrot which would appeal to D's stupid love for vegetables as food. Meat pie existed for a reason as far as Leon was concerned. Being that it was the perfect balance between pastry and the greatest of all ingestible materials-meat. Making a decision never came easy especially because of D's fluctuating tastes. And arbitrarily choosing would get him a glare. _It's like he expects me to choose the best one for him or something. Like I'm his bitch or something. …Shit! What the hell am I doing here then!?_ He went back to examining them anyway. He needed information. It was all for work. Naturally. He didn't _like_ making sure the freak got something he would like it was just for the possible leads D could provide. After careful research he'd learned that usually the more expensive the dessert the more the Chinese man would like it. Realizations like that made his wallet cry. But sometimes the shopkeeper-a curly haired red head took mercy on him and pointed at the chocolate.

"I think the Count would like that one. This week he's been favouring chocolate."

_Dammit am I that easy to read?!_ He shelled out the 40 dollars anyhow. From the store it took him 20 minutes by bus to get to Chinatown. Luckily the trip wasn't entirely unpleasant thanks to the busty blonde sitting across from him. _Yeah, she was totally into me. But sorry baby I'm too busy saving the world for a relationship. _By saving the world he of course meant buying overpriced sweets for a frock wearing pet shop owner for information. Still flying high from when he knocked on the door his mood plummeted when D grabbed him by the shirt and yanked him inside.

"My _dear Detective_, it's so very _wonderful_ to see you're feeling so happy," D's eyes had narrowed to slits and he seemed to have shot up a couple feet in height. _Holy shit he's gonna kill me! They'll never find the body. Chris won't even know I'm gone. What can I do to fix this?! _

They stayed in the foyer-a first-where the front door remained in sight but still too far to run to with any real efficiency. Being afraid of the shorter man had never occurred to him before now. But he had to keep it cool. D could probably smell fear like some sort of animal.

"Hey, D, what're you so pissed off about anyway?! Fuck, I brought this-"

"Do not bother with niceties Detective Orcot," the Count released the blonde for now and his face shifted to a smile. The one he gave his customers. The same one he'd shown Leon until the cop had pissed him off so much it'd slipped from his face for a moment. Fake but so convincing a normal person wouldn't see past the illusion.

_What's that look for?!_

"What the hell is your problem?"

"Do tell me Detective why it is that the entire station felt it necessary to pay a _visit_ this morning yelling their Yankee heads off about a murder investigation?"

_I did fuck all. For once._ The man clenched his fist then jabbed a finger in the other man's direction, "I have no god damn idea!"

_Why would the Chief give the order? He loves the Count almost as much as Jill. Unless…he's got evidence this bastard's involved! _Happiness and annoyance collided violently. He should be happy but at the same time…_I wanted to be the one to catch this son of a bitch!_ Not to mention them coming down and screwing around had screwed him over.

"They tore apart my Grandfather's pet shop, broke my finest china and frightened my animals beyond all measure and you Detective Orcot cannot account for your colleagues' actions?"

"It's not my damn fault! Take it up with the Chief!"

The Asian didn't lay a hand on him but it felt like a cat had scratched him across the face. D said nothing but his silence said it all-'get out'. Not that Leon could read the Count's actions or anything because they weren't close or any other nonsense like that. _Thanks a lot Chief. Now anything he would've told me is down the drain! Stupid asshole boss! _

"Oh yeah? Leave? Well guess what?" he then realized his fallacy-he hadn't thought of anything else to say other than, "fuck you! Chris is living with me from now on!"

"That den of filth is an unsuitable environment for a child as I'm sure you've already been up to your old habits Detective Orcot."

_Since when does he have a say when it comes to __**my**__ brother?! _

"Chris!" he began stomping throughout the place screaming his brother's name even if he knew it was unlikely the kid could hear him wherever he was. Until D and the pet shop as a whole decided he would be going no further. The animals rallied around their protector looking the part of wild beasts-even Pon-chan gave him a snooty look. _Just because you like Chris so much doesn't mean I'll let him stay here!_

"Yet again you remind me of my dislike for humans Detective Orcot. Now kindly vacate the premise or Tetsu will be escorting you out."

He still wore the annoying smirk. Like this entire thing was funny. And it wasn't! In any case the joke was lost on Leon. _He's so pissed I can't even argue with him! Dammit! I'll have to get the Chief to talk. Otherwise Chris'll be trapped with this freak. _He didn't even think about the fact that he had custody of the kid and was a cop and could have just taken the Count down-D always made him forget about his power. Either way he didn't want to stick around to see how many pieces he'd get ripped if he did. Chris would be safe for now though-D had always taken good care of the kid and anyway he didn't have any room for real with Jill at his apartment. Insecurity began to tear at him with talons not unlike D's nails as he started walking from the store. Had he done the right thing by leaving Chris? And what the hell was up with D anyway? He'd never rejected a cake before. So now Leon had to carry it with him back to the station and for the rest of his patrol. _Bastard, I paid 40 bucks for this! _D was just being over dramatic. It wasn't the blonde man's fault that the Chief had gone back on the little unspoken alliance he and the animal lover had. _He'll get over it once he gets his stupid nails done or something._

When he entered the office everyone turned to look at him. And then they laughed. Loudly to his face. The detective shoved his free hand in his pocket.

"What the hell are you all looking at?!"

"Nice battle scar Orcot, the dragon lady get you?"

_What? Full of crap…you were all too afraid to go in there by yourself! _Only Jill looked remotely worried. She hopped down from her desk, lips pressed together to prevent small giggles from escaping, "did the Count smack you? Looks…looks pretty painful Leon!"

"No he didn't smack me! Don't make stupid jokes! I'm not an idiot, dammit."

"What'd you do _this_ time?"

_Why is it always my fault?!_ He started towards his desk tucked in the corner next to the garbage can and she followed. She perched herself on his desk beside the computer, one leg crossed over the other.

"I didn't do a god damn thing! That bastard got investigated and he blamed me! And he wouldn't even let me see Chris."

The woman shook her head, "would it kill you to have some sympathy? I hear they really worked him over…And you're the one who knows the Count best, he was probably really upset that you had no clue what was going on."

_I'm always the bad guy. Fuck this. Fuck all of this!_ He pulled open the cake box viciously before glaring at the thing and pulverizing half of it with his fist. Jill put a hand on his arm.

"You should at least apologize."

"I didn't do anything!"

She rolled her eyes, "you're such a monkey Leon."

_A monkey? Yeah, well…you're wearing a skirt! _His co-worker heaved one final sigh and started back to her own desk.

"You should watch those scratches out!"

_What scratches?! _He rested his chin in his hand with a huff. Now he had cake all over his fingers and apparently scratches on his face. _Could arrest him for that! Shit! But then Chris'd have nowhere to go. Dammit Chris if you like him better…_

~~**~~

The night yielded nothing other than cars driving by and crickets chirping. His own footsteps accompanied him on the walk home. Jill had caught a cab around 3pm but paperwork had held him back until 10. The demolished cake had been swept into the trash and it made him want to hit D even more thinking of the money he'd wasted. His hands curled into tight fists-_you bastard D! It was so good and you rejected it?! This is just like that time with that damn cannibal…I waited in line for 3 hours for that shit! _He kicked a can and it went wheeling into an alley. A little bit of light illuminated something lying on the ground. Curiosity got the better of him and he came to a stop, further examining the lump. Which was when the smell hit him. Metallic blood and bile floated up to his nostrils. Piqued interest turned into cop mode as he ran down the street to a payphone.

The rest of the team arrived in less than 10 minutes and quickly overtook the area with cop cars and uniformed officers. He flashed his badge almost immediately so he didn't get forced away from the scene.

"What we got?"

"Something tore him apart-his insides are on the outside. It's like a bear or somethin' but we don't have any of those around here."

_Unless you count the freak's pet shop._ They'd covered the victim with a sheet but blood pooled around the body dyeing the edges of the fabric crimson. _What could've done this? T-chan maybe but D wouldn't let that sheep bastard out on his own…_

"Do you think the Count's got something to do with this? He's the only one with animals around here."

"I don't know. Maybe."

"What's wrong Orcot, lose your passion to catch him?" the officer chuckled.

"Shut up! It's the same MO as the others…I don't think D would let his stupid pets out of his sight."

"He was sure mad this morning though huh?"

"Because of you idiots he got pissed off at me and made me waste 40 bucks!" finally he could take his anger out on the people who had caused his misfortune. Not that the other officer appeared to care.

"Lover's quarrel huh? It was Chief's orders."

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN LOVER'S QUARREL?! YOU CALLIN' ME HOMO?!"

The other cop waved his hands in front of himself which provided a sort of shield from physical attack, "I'm kidding! Kidding, chill out Orcot! Anyway let's get this guy to the coroner's."

_You'll be the one in the coroner's if you don't shut the hell up! But weird. Everyone's saying it's Chief's orders but why the hell would Chief give it? _Leon jumped in the car with one of the other police men and they were back to the precinct. _Guess I'll get no sleep tonight._

~~**~~

He got halfway to D's before remembering the guy was probably still mad and he wasn't in the mood to deal with a bitchy Count. Even if those stupid incense put him right to sleep. Either way he stumbled home to his apartment. A first aid kit sat out on the tiny kitchen table along with a note from Jill. 'I told you to wash those cuts~ The Count's nail polish is probably poison or something! :P'. He could hear her mocking him. _Whatever. I'll take care of it later. _The man ignored it right now and went straight to bed. On the couch. The lumpy couch that poked with stray springs. It didn't help that his bedsheet curtains did little in the way of blocking intrusive sunlight. He groaned into his pillow-_I just want to sleep. Dammit._

Despite the unfavourable conditions he managed to slip into slumber from sheer exhaustion alone. His eyes didn't open again until the front door opened and closed with a faint click.

"What an idiot. You could've slept in your own bed."

Keys jingled as Jill let them fall onto the table, "didn't even take my advice."

The man mumbled into the couch and sat up, "time is it?"

"4pm. You slept all day! Heard you got called in last night. Ooh, Leon your face looks awful!"

_It does feel kinda puffy. _His fingers probed the injured area-though at this point where _wasn't_ he wounded?-and he winced. _Shit, that hurts. Bastard didn't even hit me though did he?_ His temporary roommate shook her head, "just let me do it you idiot."

_No way! You'll stab it in like D does!_ "Can do it myself."

Sleep made his speech slow and clumsy but he was able to get to his feet to inspect his injury. His face looked like he'd been stung by a bee and had an allergic reaction. _What the hell happened?! _

"It really does look bad. But if you just put some peroxide and ointment on it should get better…"

"That son of a –"

"Well, it could've been worse right?'

_Yeah, sure. Worse. I can't go out like this!_ Which was when the phone rang.

"Orcot get down here, they've taken the Count in on suspicion of those murders."

End Chapter.

How mean of you Leon. Calling D "the thing" :'D Oh D, don't use Yankee. It sounds so…derogatory coming from you lol. I wanted D to start using Detective Orcot instead of Leon, Detective or any of his other pet names(XD **pet** name) because it sounds more formal. Instead of getting outwardly mad for real(though he does yell quite a bit ha ha. I think that's more of an affectionate thing though) I think D's more the type of person to go back to acting like you're a stranger to get the point across that he is PISSED at you. You know D is livid when he does NOT accept your cake. It's almost like a sign of the apocalypse. I bet you he later was like " …;_; that looked like my favourite kind…Oh my what a waste, a person like him probably threw it away…: *sigh with hand to mouth*"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

D sat in an interrogation room, the harsh fluorescent light washing out his skin so it looked deathly pale. His hands were folded in his lap and he looked straight ahead. And murderous when he spotted Leon.

"Bet you're pretty excited eh Leon? The Count's finally goin' down!"

Aside from the fact that he wanted to be the one to arrest the man-woman he didn't believe(for once) that D was involved. Maybe. But at the moment only one thought dominated his brain. His hand fisted the collar of the Count's stupid dress once again without thinking of how he had no right to be doing this.

"Where's Chris?!"

"I assure you he is being taken care of. I would not allow harm to come to Christopher. Even if he is _your_ brother," the same look from yesterday remained firmly on his face. It had never-aside from yesterday-been directed at him. a strange feeling settled in the put of his stomach.

"Tell me where he is."

"He is with Pon-chan and T-chan. I hope you intend to thank them as they're being quite gracious for being so badly treated by your _friends_."

_I told you that's not my fault!_ Anger fought its way to the surface and he let D drop back to his chair.

"You're going to jail D. It wasn't me but…" he laughed perhaps a little too heartily because the people who were supposed to be questioning the Count stared at him like he'd gone entirely crazy, "you're goin' down!"

"I highly doubt that Detective."

_Dammit don't sound so confident about it! _But he didn't deny that the other man was probably right. They could investigate all they wanted but the fact of the matter was…_they'll only find regular animals. Nothing illegal anyway. Just like all the other times._ Without even thinking about how everything was being recorded Leon plopped down in the chair across from the suspect.

"D you're involved in this, I know it." Only he _didn't_. and was fishing-even D knew that.

"I only sell hope, dreams and love at my pet shop Detective Orcot."

_Not this again…_ "Don't give me that crock! You sell potentially dangerous animals to your customers isn't that right?!"

The Count smiled-the distant one he gave to his customers, "of course not Detective. All of my pets are perfectly harmless."

"Liar! What about…" only he couldn't bring himself to say anything. He knew Honlon and T-chan could probably kill someone but D didn't sell them. And he hadn't seen anything dangerous in the shop for awhile. Yet again he had no evidence D _sold_ anything dangerous since his own personal collection wasn't up for grabs. _Shit!_ His fist slammed against the table but D didn't even flinch.

"I see you've realized your mistake Detective."

"Then what do you know about the case?!"

"As I've told you many times Detective," the Count placed his hands on the table, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

He wanted to overturn the table except with his luck it'd snap in half and he'd have to pay for it. so he settled with storming from the room. everyone had gathered around the two way glass, bags of popcorn in hand. Even Jill-the traitor-had shown up to watch.

"What are you all watching?!"

"Come on Orcot, it was just gettin' good!"

"Yeah, it's like a cop drama!"

_You're all cops! What the hell is your problem?!_ Not bothering to acknowledge them any further the blonde man stomped across the station to the Chief's office. Being that the secretary was still not at her post he forwent the 'can you call the boss?' thing and just knocked on the door. No one answered but he knew for a fact the Chief would be in-he was _always_ at the precinct. He turned the doorknob slowly out of some sort of respect(and fear his paycheque would suffer too) then stepped inside. The light were off and only a little sliver of sunlight was able to sneak through a slit in the blinds.

"Hey Boss, I gotta talk to you about the Count."

No one answered. _What the hell?_ He moved closer and saw something glint in the low light.

"Chief, what's up?"

The man sat at his his desk staring straight ahead not speaking even when Leon stood right in front of him. _He's acting really weird…he have a stroke or something?_

"Yo, Chief."

His eyes were eerily wide a shiny, unseeing and shadows fell all across his face making it look skeletal. Leon put a hand on the man's shoulder.

"Orcot, what're you doing here?"

_Is he on drugs or something? Damn sounds normal though…_ He scratched the back of his neck, "you have evidence against D?"

"Evidence? What kind of idiot do you take me for Orcot?!"

_I guess that's a yeah…_The fair officer started to leave, "just asking, jeez."

He hit the wall with a thunderous thud. His cheek pressed against the molding around the door. Everyone attempt he made to move was thwarted and he was left standing motionless with both arms twisted behind his back.

"Chief what the fuck?!"

"Don't doubt me again Orcot."

"Shit you're in a bad mood! Lemme go!"

_When did Chief get that strong and fast? _Abruptly the pressure let up so he could escape with only one backward glance. _Something's definitely up with the Chief. Should tell Jill._

He hung around watching someone other than him question D. it felt surreal seeing them use the 'good cop, bad cop' method on him and having the Asian man just ignore them. _Now you assholes know what it feels like!_ Jill kept shooting him annoyed glares. _What'd I do to __**you**_?! He knew though. Later she would say 'how could you just sit and watch?!' like D was his personal responsibility. But he wasn't allowed to question the guy because they knew each other fairly well. Not to mention any time he tried to get anything out of the Count it either turned into a fight or the information was already known to him. _Dammit he finally gets caught and I can't do a damn thing!_ Disappointment was definitely the most prominent emotion in him right now.

Soon everyone but him had returned to whatever they were doing previously. Not because D looked scared-he didn't-or that he was _worried_-why the hell would Leon be worried about the weirdo anyway? But he stuck around anyway. Until they had to let D go due to lack of evidence as usual. Only once they went to release him the Chief freaked out.

"He's our only lead and you're gonna let him go?!"

"But Chief, we can't keep him here. It's against the-"

"I don't give a damn! Put him in one of the cells downstairs!"

_This isn't right…and everyone knows it. so why aren't they saying anything?!_ He grabbed onto D's arm which got him a glare.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Guilty until proven-I mean innocent until proven guilty! This is America!"

"Keep it down Orcot, the Chief's acting real weird. Best just to do what he says."

"Bedies Detective Orcot, you've put me in a cell before. Or have you forgotten?" The Count smiled.

_That was for your protection! He doesn't even care! What's going on here?! _They started to walk away but he didn't let go. There was no way he'd let this go-he was a cop after all!

"Yeah but…Dammit D don't be stupid! This going against your rights!"

"Calm down Detective Orcot. If you don't people may start to get the wrong idea." Q-chan made a noise and flapped over to rest on Leon's shoulder. "Don't worry Detective, Q-chan will make sure everything goes according to plan."

"Wo-Worry?! Who said I was worried you-" his hand snapped back like a tape measure though. _What does he mean 'plan'? What's he up to now?! And what does it have to do with the murders?_

~~**~~

Legwork remained his favourite part-aside from arrests-of policing the city. Chasing perps, getting useful information and the danger of being found out made his heart race. Kind of like when he saw D in danger or enjoying the cake he'd brought. Of course that wasn't unusual. Definitely not. Unlike D he cared about what happened to people and when the Chinese man liked the offered sweets it usually led to information. That was all. Nothing weird about that!

Right now he'd returned to the crime scene. Far from being deserted the port was bustling. People with dogs and kids walking along the pier, boats unloading cargo and stalls trying to sell their wares. He wasn't interested in the civilians but the shops could provide some leads.

The first one he approached had jewellery lain out on white cloths and clothes hanging from the ceiling. He flashed his badge.

"Hey I need some information. There was a murder here a couple days ago, you know anything about it?"

"I don't want no trouble Officer."

"No trouble," he put his hands p in front of him, "just a chat. You see anything unusual that night?"

The guy closed his eyes a minute then opened them, "yeah. Yeah this man was stumbling around. Acting real strange."

_Acting strange?_ Leon pulled his notepad from his pocket then quickly scrawled down the man's name and location.

"Do you remember what he looked like? Define strange."

"Oh yeah. But I couldn't see too well since the sun was in my eyes. He looked a bit shorter than you, African-American. He was kinda grabbing onto his head like he had a bad headache and talkin' to himself looked like. Couple people tried asking him if he was alright but he just ignored 'em."

_He can't be talking about the Chief…but he was out at some conference that night…A couple blocks from here!_ He thanked the guy for the information and ran to the building and slammed his hands down on the receptionist's desk.

"I need some information!"

"Um…what would that be?"

Leon put his hand in front of him, one finger up as he stood catching his breath. _Damn all those sweets from D are makin' me fat! _After one last deep breath he stood up straight and held out his badge.

"Detective Orcot with the LAPD. The Chief of police was in here last week. You know if he left the building at all during the night?"

She shook her head fast enough that her hair nearly smacked her in the face," I don't know, I wasn't the one working that night."

"Can you tell me who was? It's kind of important."

"Oh…well…I think it was Thomas. He's working the door today. You could ask him…"

_She's acting shifty what the hell…Maybe she thinks I'm hot. Ha! D's my wife eh? I'll show you wife!_ Then he realized she was staring at Q-chan.

"Thanks."

He turned on his heel and started towards the door, "dammit you're a horrible wing man Q-chan."

The flying mammal made a noise and looked the other way as if to say 'I think you've got our roles mixed up wing man'. _Crap, outshined by a flying rat!_ But he had other things to worry about because Thomas was making a run for it.

"Stop! Hey! Come back here!"

Leon took off after him of course, fighting through the crowd of business types making their way for the day. It made finding the doorman infinitely more difficult among the camouflage of suits. People didn't move either so what should have been a matter of running through a neat path became a struggle to displace people quickly enough. His target got farther away.

"Q-chan follow that guy!"

The animal stared at him.

"Uh…please?"

And off the thing went, flapping his wings until he soared over the crowd. He bobbed in the air pointing his little paw down at the guy. _Good thing you're useful…_The man pushed his way to the front of the pack and grinned until he realized Q-chan had disappeared.

"Shit!"

He slowed to a jog and scanned the street for any sign of either of the things he was pursuing. _Dammit that guy could've squashed the rat! D would murder me!_ Chest heaving and cursing all the desserts he'd eaten lately Leon stopped running. Sweat slithered down his back making his shirt cling unpleasantly to his skin. All he wanted right now was to sit down and have a nice, cold-

"Q-chan! Shit you fu-"

The little guy flew back and lay on his shoulder locking generally just as tired as Leon did.

"Jeez, I thought you'd gotten lost! D would've ripped me a new one. Don't worry, we'll get him next time buddy."

Q-chan made a noise. '_You_ were the one that lost him'. _You bastard, some sidekick you are! _

That was when he noticed the abnormal amount of animals hanging around. _Did he come back to show me the way?_ A ginger cat meowed at him before bounding off. Without thinking he followed until he reached the downtown area when a dog awaited him beside a newspaper stand. _They all followed him? There's no way D's not involved in this!_ The doorman sat hunched over in an alley, content in the fact that he'd gotten away. So much so that Leon grabbed him before the guy could start moving again.

"Wh…Why'd you run asshole?!"

His other hand unclipped the radio from his jeans and he called in for backup.

"I…I wasn't at my post that night! I…I don't remember why but when I came to I was at home."

"What!? How did that happen?!"

The other man shook his head, "I don't know! I can't remember that night at all!"

_Can't remember….but why…?_

_*~~*_

He flopped onto the couch, a towel around his neck to keep water from soaking the back of his shirt. Jill sat in front of the TV with a plate of pasta.

"You can have some food you know. Least I can do for letting me stay."

"Oh. Sure. No problem," he opened the fridge finding it woefully empty other than for beer, some old Chinese takeout and ketchup. In contrast the steaming pot of spaghetti on the counter looked like the food of Gods.

"Want a beer?"

"Yeah, sure."

After piling a large amount of food on his plate the man closed his hand around a can of beer, placing the other one under his bicep.

"What're we watching?"

"An Asian movie since all you get is the Chinese language channel, the news and 'Community Circuit'."

_There's not even any subtitles!_ He stared at the screen hoping to glean some information from facial expressions and music alone. The woman beside him kept her eyes firmly on the screen. _Don't tell me she's fluent now!_

"You know it was sweet what you did today."

_What?! What's sweet?!_ He shovelled spaghetti into his mouth, "muhusa?"

"No wonder the Count keeps talking about your table manners…Really Leon, you're a grown man."

"Hey shut up, this is my house! Besides I'm fuckin' starving!"

She rolled her eyes, "_anyway_, I think he feels a bit better about you now."

"So? Who says I care?" another mouthful prevented him from speaking any further.

"Hm. Should I list the reasons? 1) even when you don't need something from the Count you bring him something sweet, 2) you show visible concern when he's in danger, 3) you left your only brother in his care, 4) you killed that cake when he rejected it thus showing how much him disliking you/it upset you and 5) you know all of his pets' names even though you claim that you only spend time over there because Chris is there."

_She has a __**list**__?!_ Q-chan stole a strand of pasta from the man's plate, shoving a large portion of it in his tiny mouth. And Leon stared at her.

"Well…you're…you don't even know! Dammit! 1)it's to make sure he doesn't start hating me and not giving me information, 2) so what?, 3)he can't…stay…"he thought for a moment-_which one was which again?_. "He can't stay here, 4) I was pissed off because that bastard made me waste money and 5)…so…who cares?!"

Jill put a hand to her forehead, "I'm saying _you_ care. You can have excuses all you want but I think…that you actually don't mind Count D. Maybe you even _like_ him."

_Like him?! Yeah right! _Q-chan looked up at him with alarm.

"Leon, your face…"

"Yeah, I know it's fucked okay!?"

"No I mean it's really red. Are you…_blushing_?! You really _do_ like the Count!"

He slammed his plate down on the table, "I don't like that dress wearing manicured womanly freak got it!"

"Okay Leon, whatever you say."

_Don't be too sincere you might hurt yourself. _The man ignored her in favour of a movie he couldn't even understand. Hanging around D hadn't somehow made him able to know Chinese either. But he didn't like D at all. There was no way. He stomped to his bedroom and tore down his posters. Then why was he doing this?

End Chapter.

Ha ha for some reason I just keep thinking of Leon and Q-chan just chillin' with a couple of beers and being all "yeah, that was a good chase." :'D You may also notice now that Leon can to an extent 'hear' what Q-chan is saying. In the manga it just happened all of a sudden. LOL Jill having a list was kinda random but she probably does have one. The part in I think V.7 was cute-when Leon just shows up to D's and is like "I wanted to come have breakfast with you and Chris" T^T


	4. Chapter 4

I had 2 freakin' essays due one right after the other this week so I haven't had time to write!(Rather, once I was done with my essays I had no will to live :'D)

Chapter Four

He wasn't here to check on D. He was here to make sure a prisoner hadn't escaped. That and Q-chan had berated him until he finally went to the precinct even on his day off. Not that Leon had many days off during an open case but his face looked so bad(and he'd started feeling sick on top of it) the Chief had given him a day to recover. Which he now spent scowling at D. The Asian man sat sipping tea looking as fresh as he had yesterday. _How the hell does that work!? He's gotta be some kind of damn…Alien! _Q-chan squished himself through the bars of the cell and came to rest on the Count's shoulder.

"Mr. Detective, what a surprise. Have you come to release me?"

"Hell no! I just came to give back Q-chan!" that was all. He wouldn't have even come if not for Q-chan. Definitely not.

"Of course. Could I speak to you Detective?"

"You _are_ fuckin' speaking to me you-"

D curled his finger, "come closer Mr. Detective."

_What the hell is that look for? _The other man wore a smile and something like attraction sent a shiver down Leon's spine. He took a step forward only so he wouldn't look like a wimp and rolled his eyes when the Chinese man beckoned him even closer. _What're you up to?! _And why was he feeling this strange sensation pooling in his abdomen? The blonde moved even closer, his heart beating erratically in his chest for some reason. But he wasn't scared dammit! The police officer's body floated a couple inches from the bars of the cell when abruptly his torso slammed against the metal. D had him by the front of his shirt.

"My dear Detective, tell me what you know about the case so far."

"What?! No fuckin' way!"

The backside of a nail slid against his cheek and he flinched. _That hurts you bastard!_ But the momentary pain faded in light of how close D's face was to his. His breath smelled like sugar with a hint of tea-not overpowering but distinctive. _What is he up to?!_ But his mind went blank when the raven haired man's thumb found his lip.

"My dear Detective it seems that you are rather tired, isn't that right?"

"Tired?! What're you…" his eyes rolled back in his head and he went down like a load of bricks. Luckily though his head didn't end up smacking against the floor because of D holding onto his shirt.

~~**~~

_I wonder where the Count and big brother are. Everyone's getting really mad! _Not to mention he hadn't realized how much work went into upkeep at the shop until he'd had to feed all the animals-or at least the ones who couldn't get food for themselves. Pon-chan and T-chan hadn't left his side since D had gone and he was starting to get the feeling something was wrong. _But what? I know! I'll try and figure it out like big bro! _Chris rubbed the sleep from his eyes and jumped from the bed that had been designated as 'his' being careful not to wake the myriad of animals sharing the space with him. It couldn't be too late because not even the birds were chirping yet. _Well, the Count always says it's best to start your day early. Even if it is Saturday…_

The boy padded to the kitchen and opened the fridge for some milk. Soy milk of course. The Count wouldn't let him drink regular milk because it was 'made by cruel hands'. _That's what brother always complains about…But it's not __**that**__ bad. He didn't have to spit it out all over the table…_ The only breakfast foods they had in the house were weird stuff that only D ate. _I guess I'll have to go get some food myself! _He got allowance for cleaning things up or helping around the shop so that should cover it.

_Hey guys, who wants to come with me to the store?_ Which he shouldn't have said because almost immediately he had a pack of people jumping around like dogs waiting for a car ride. _Guys, you can't __**all**__ come. Some of you have to guard the shop okay?_ In the end he had a convoy consisting of Pon-chan, T-chan, 3 people wearing dog tails(which Chris thought was a bit strange but then again it _was_ the Count's shop) and a couple purring girls who attached themselves to his arm. _Sorry all you other ones. You can come next time okay? …I hope they don't get too upset…_

They moved out in a loose group amidst stares from the few people on the streets. It was a bit chilly yet and he should've brought a jacket but it was too late now and besides, it wouldn't take long to just go get a box of cereal.

"Hey Chris, where's your stupid brother?"

"T-chan! Leon's not stupid he's just… …"

_It's okay…he is kind of dumb._

"Well at least you didn't grow up like him Chris, you're really smart," Pon-chan nodded as if that was the end of the matter.

"Jeez, suck up."

_Guys don't fight! _He put a hand to his face-would those two ever stop fighting?

"Did you see that guy? Did you see him?! Did ya did ya did ya!?"

_Yeah, I saw him. Hey! Don't run off! …I should've put a leash or something on these guys; they won't even stay with me. If I lose them the Count'll sell __**me**__ in his shop!_ He promised them something from the store if they would stop wandering off and stay away from the road and they gladly obliged. For about 2 minutes.

_Guys you gotta stay here or you can go back home! _They came back, bouncing on their heels like they were waiting for something. _Uh…good. _And off they went again. _There's no winning with them…_

"Don't worry about it Chris, they won't run too far," Pon-chan assured him with a smile.

"Dogs are so troublesome."

_Well you don't have to call them dogs…_The blonde kid ordered them all to wait outside while he got his cereal, secretly hoping that the hyperactive people wouldn't run off somewhere in their impatience. Having been to this shop plenty of times before the shop keeper waved to him as he entered and he waved back-it was only polite. He went straight to the breakfast aisle for his food. _Which one…I guess Cheerios…Now what to get those guys. Maybe just apples or something. The Count probably wouldn't like it if I fed them something unhealthy. Since he won't even let me eat sweets even when him and brother eat them all the time!_

He pushed his purchases onto the counter and pulled out his money.

"Is this all today?"

He nodded.

"Okay, it comes to 5.37."

_Here you go._ The change spun on the counter then came to a stop with a clatter. He got a couple pennies back which he put into the 'take a penny, leave a penny' box. After taking the bag Chris returned outside. Thankfully they had all stayed outside, mostly by the front door. He doled out the apples which were taken eagerly by the over excited people then they went back home.

_Oops, did I forget to lock the door?_

"Don't worry, the Count never locks it!"

"Not that it matters. _Someone_ would just break it down if he did._"_

"…He _does_ like kicking in doors…_"_

_It's part of being a police officer! …I think._ He sat down at the table used for eating and started on his breakfast so he could get started on feeding the shop. _And then I can investigate._

"Chris, do you think we'll find anything out about where the Count is?"

_Well we can try! Big bro says that sometimes you try your hardest but you still don't get the perp so even if we don't find him all that matters is that we try, right?_

"I bet your brother brought him to jail."

"T-chan! Leon wouldn't bring the Count in for no reason!_"_

_Maybe…Or maybe something bigger's going on. Didn't those cops who came before say something about a lot of murders? Maybe the Count and big bro are involved somehow._

"You could be right! And there was that weird girl who came into the pet shop last week, remember?"

"Yeah, the really skinny one! And she acted really strange right?!"

_Yeah! And the Count wouldn't let brother stay! Something has to be up! Maybe we have a shot at solving the mystery after all! _

"See, I told you you were smart Chris!"

T-chan coughed but it sounded more like 'suck up!'.

"I'm not a suck up T-chan and if you keep on saying I am I'll hit you!"

"Oh I'm so scared. See how much I'm shaking right now?"

He laughed. _Guys…Don't…Don't fight! _Only he couldn't hold back his laughter long enough to sound serious. _They fight like big bro and the Count do. Except they don't actually hit each other._ But breakfast aside he had to get to feeding everyone else or they'd get cranky.

~~**~~

"Leon! Hey Leon get up!"

He groaned, "what the hell?"

Jill kneeled over him, poking his stomach, "do you know where you are?"

"Mm…Shit. I'm at the precinct."

"Good. Be careful getting up or you'll faint!" she grinned and stuck out her hand.

_I'm not gonna fuckin' faint like a girl._ The man sat up slowly anyway. Just in case. And that's when he noticed it. D was gone.

"THAT FUCKER! I'm gonna kill him!" he snapped, forgetting all about being careful about anything.

"Calm down, you won't catch him by yelling like a mental patient."

"HE-HE-THAT BASTARD!"

The cell door was closed and locked as if mocking him. There was no evidence that D had even been in there to begin with of course. And it pissed him off! How the hell could D have escaped?! _Dammit…I wasn't even carrying the key on me. So he had to have gotten it from the guard. But how?! _He ignored Jill telling him to take a pill and stomped up the stairs to the main floor.

"Someone let that freak out of here and you're all gonna tell me who it was!"

"We know as much as you do Orcot."

"Yeah, I didn't see him leave at all."

"That's IMPOSSIBLE! One of you must've fuckin' seen him!" again he didn't listen to Jill's 'you'll raise your blood pressure!' comment. There was no way people just disappeared into thin air! Not even D. Something had to be up for them to not have seen anything. _I bet this is about the murders! In fact I'd put 50 bucks on it!_

"I'm going to find that bastard! He's breaking the law!"

"Good luck without any leads Orcot!"

He didn't reply instead choosing to hoof it to the pet shop. Not only did he want to see if D was there but he had to check up on Chris-a day or two with just Pon-chan and T-chan was okay but who knew what would happen if D didn't come back? _They might be trying to eat him right now! Shit! I'm comin' Chris!_

The door opened with a satisfying crack and he heard people arguing inside. _HA! Now I've got you!_ Only inside all he saw was Chris hauling a bag of bird seed with Pon-chan and T-chan glaring at each other.

"Hey, let me help you with that buddy."

His brother's face broke into a smile. _Hey big bro! How come you're here? _

…_Ouch Chris. Ouch._ "Is D in?"

…_The Count? Nope, he hasn't been here for a couple of days! I guess that means you don't know where he is…_

"Oh! Uh…don't worry about him, he's probably off hugging a tree or something. Are you taking care of all the animals?"

_Yup! I've gotta pay back the Count for letting me stay here. I'm not worried, if you're looking for him he should be okay._

_Dammit what's that supposed to mean?_ He took the bag off his brother's hands then helped him pour the seed in the many birds' bowls. They squawked at him like it would make him feed them quicker. _Where the hell did that weirdo get to? He probably didn't go too far since he probably has customers…But dammit where is he now?!_ Looking for him wouldn't be too difficult considering the Count's unusual appearance but what would he do once he _found_ D? Wring his neck? _Yeah right. _Either way he was getting a bit tired of the Asian man's constant disappearing act.

~~**~~

His feet hurt from running all over town looking for the Chinese freak. He put them up on his table with a sigh. The entire day had been spent following leads saying that such and such a person had seen a strange looking Chinese man only to have the information fall through. _If one more person had sent me to that Chinese restaurant with the stupid looking guy on the sign…_ The blonde closed his eyes-_Wonder where Jill is. Usually she's out here bugging the shit outta me by now._ Not that he missed the abuse. Just it was pretty quiet without anyone bothering him. In the end he hadn't been able to get Chris to come with him-_Dammit D's been telling him lies about my place! I do __**not**__ have naked chicks all over the walls! …Anymore. _He still couldn't say he knew why he'd gone and torn down the posters in the first place. It wasn't like he'd thought it would make a difference with D since they'd just get torn down anyway if the weirdo came to the apartment. No, it wasn't like that at all. At least now that he was alone he could walk around shirtless again-_having Jill around was like having a fuckin' sister…I prefer Chris. He doesn't say stupid things like 'you like the Count' and that shit._ Leon turned on the TV, pointedly avoiding the Asian language channel, and settled on the channel playing basketball.

But he couldn't focus on it. _Dammit I want to know where that bastard is! He better be back home with Chris or…_ It made him want to overturn the table just thinking of where the Chinese man could be-only he didn't because there was nothing on his table thus making it less satisfying to destroy. He slammed his hand down on the wooden table and sighed. _Is that asshole hiding somewhere?! Where is he?! I'll punch him next time I see him! Which will be soon 'cause I'll fucking find him! _

"We now bring you breaking news from the downtown area! It appears that some kind of commotion is going on-There's people everywhere running away from the scene. More news as it comes folks-now it appears the SWAT team is moving in and breaking apart the crowd." The signal began to break up making him press the mute button on the TV from the loud static penetrating the silence of his apartment. _What the hell? What's going on?_

The news room came back into view where the lead anchors no doubt accounted for the loss of signal by saying they were having technical difficulties. But Leon was already out the door. His hand went to his belt immediately and he called in to the station.

"What the hell's going on guys?!"

"No clue Orcot. Some kind of-"

_Shit! A tower must be down…_ He sprinted down the stairs, almost tumbling down the rest in his haste, to the garage and his car. Not having used it too much except for when he had to travel long distances it still sat in the parking space with a little more than half a tank of gas. _If something's goin' down I've gotta fuckin' get Chris and D somewhere safe. _He didn't think of how that would sound to anyone else at the moment-they were the people most likely to be at the centre of the whatever it was. And Chris couldn't take care of himself and D…Well D would probably be right there if it was an animal probably almost getting himself killed.

The tires squealed as he peeled out of the parking garage and onto the street. It hadn't gotten to the point where the roads were congested with cars but if he didn't hurry his ass up he'd be caught in the middle of the rush. _Shit I should've brought Chris home with me. I shouldn't have left him at the pet shop. What the hell was I thinking!? _He turned on the radio but only got static. Whatever was going on had to be big. _Is it connected to the murders or is this just a random occurrence? Fuck, be okay you freak. You should've stayed at the fuckin' precinct! _

End Chapter

Ha ha Chris is travelling with a raccoon, a totetsu, 3 hyperactive dogs and 2 cats :'D How odd would that look? And dogs do eat apples(or if you're my dog, anything edible LOL). My neighbour fed her german shepherd them all time and he loved em XD I think you're supposed to take the seeds out though. LOL I swear to god Cloverfield has not descended on LA, it's just a matter of me thinking they did the whole "holy shit there's a fuckin' monster!!?!?!?!?!" thing very well and trying to emulate it somewhat.


	5. Chapter 5

Ha ha this chapter is kind of like a disaster movie XD It's kinda like when Honlon was being born except…worse LOL.

Chapter 5

He skidded to a stop in front of the pet shop and kicked in the door as usual. Only to an empty space. His heart stopped. He'd had a dream like this before. Only he had woken up from it and had the satisfaction that it was only a dream that Chris and D and everyone still existed. Seeing this blank space devoid of everything that had made the pet shop a kind of home made him feel…something. Like…_I lost them both. Shit! _

"D! CHRIS!" his voice called back to him hollowly. _Dammit…_ He punched the closest wall to him with a grunt. His back hit the wall with a muffled thump and the man put his hand over his face. _Fuck. I shouldn't have left. I should've stayed here until that bastard got back. _He didn't know whether to be more upset that D was gone or that D had kidnapped Chris. Of course Chris would be safe but…_He's my fuckin' brother!_ He had visions of them all eating breakfast together-punctuated by D telling him that he ate unhealthy foods and that he had to prevent health problems now before he got old. It had felt almost like family. _Shit. That asshole's making me…into a fuckin' girl!_

His radio crackled, "hey Leon?"

"Jill? What the hell is going on?!"

"I have no clue. Most of the power's out and no one at the precinct is answering their radio or phones. Do you think it could be a terrorist attack?"

He ran a hand through his hair, "I don't know. I've got no fuckin' clue. Have you heard from D? Or…"

"Is he not at the shop? Listen, Leon I've gotta go. Everyone around here is acting really weird and I'd rather not stick around too long. I'll contact you again soon. Be safe."

"Yeah, you too."

_Dammit! What's going on here?! _He wanted to just rush around in a whirlwind of guns and megaphones like he normally did but judging by what Jill had said he'd have no back up not to mention overpowered by the strange people. But he had to move. D or no D he had to find Chris first and then make sure the Asian man hadn't gone and done something stupid. But how? He had no leads, no way of getting around other than his car and no one but himself for backup. Walls were closing in around him and there was only one way out. The blonde man got to his feet then jumped back into his car just so he could get himself fully entrenched in traffic. People were ditching their cars and running down the freeways leaving him trapped between vehicles. _Shit. What're they all running for?!_

Then he saw them. A group of people stumbling forward like zombies. Their skin had a green hue to it and from where he now stood he could see dark vein-like serpentine patterns running across their face and exposed skin. _What the fuck?!_ His hand immediately went to his gun while he yelled at them to stop and tell him what was going on. They continued walking forward without a word bringing with them complete silence. He was completely alone on the road other than his screwed up looking 'friends'. Even animals weren't around despite his position being so close to the ocean.

"HEY! Stop in the… …Name of the law dammit! I'll shoot you!" he had his gun trained on one of the front runners' legs-_Can't shoot to kill yet._ But they didn't answer him. The quiet was shattered by one gunshot then a tearing sound from the leg in question. Leon hit the deck, barely avoiding the barbs that shot from the wound. _What the fuck was that?!_

Things that looked like vines slid from the entrance wound and flailed around like crazed animals. "You sons of bitches are lucky I've got people to find!"

He high tailed it out there. China town provided a safe haven from the craziness and allowed him to circle back to down town while avoiding all manner of people. In contrast to the crazy atmosphere the sun shone brightly and the weather was actually _nice_. Not too hot, not too cool. But there was no time for dwelling on how he'd rather be lounging in the park with Chris and D because just as he darted past a shop with a broken window something threw him to the ground. The air left his lungs with a hoarse whoosh from him but he recovered quickly enough to roll away from his attacker. The green skinned man grasped the officer's throat. _FUCK!_ The butt of his gun smacked the other guy in the forehead with a crack. He managed to push the man off of him with a grunt, pistol pointed at the thing in half a second.

"You…Sit still god dammit!" of course _that_ didn't happen because no one ever listened to Leon. Not that he wasn't _used_ to it in some capacity but it'd be maybe a little bit nice. _Really nice. Dammit._ He didn't bother trying to fight the guy seeing as he couldn't shoot him and could only assume bad things would happen if chose to. So again he took off. But his face scraped along then ground as he was tackled to the pavement by the creature after only running a scant 10 feet. Any movement he attempted only served to provide more pain for him in the form of the green guy gripping his limbs like a vice then slamming them into the ground.

"You mother fucker I'll-" his words were cut off by the pain radiating from the back of his neck. _What the fuck is that?! _He wouldn't let himself scream even if it hurt like a bitch so he just lay there inhaling dirt and blowing it into his watering eyes. _Dammit, D. _

A shot threw the guy off of him but the pain remained and he couldn't get up. His arms shuddered with every effort he made to sit up.

"Leon!"

She was beside him in a second, examining him before allowing him to sit upright with her help.

"Fuck. What the hell…" his hand went to his neck where he felt what felt like twigs. They were too short to pull out with just his hands so he decided to leave them alone for the moment. Jill put her hands on both his shoulders and stared at him, "are you alright Leon?"

"It's…fuck. It's fine. Where the hell did you come from?"

"Well you said the Count wasn't at the shop so I assumed you were there. I also figured that because of the clogged roads you'd take to the streets. And clearly the area you know best is the downtown area so I guess you would stick to that area in case the Count came back."

…_Why do you have to be so fuckin' smart?! It makes me look stupid._ He finally managed to get to his feet then nodded, "alright, where are you headed?"

"Wherever you are. We need to get this situation under control and support the SWAT team."

"I've got to find D then go there. Do you want to split up until then?"

"No, it's best to stick together. I don't mind trying to find the Count. You must be worried," she smiled. _Oh shut up!_

They slipped past a pair of green people communicating in some sort of low grunt and continued to the city core. Even with the multitude of those monsters running around the city was eerily silent so only their footfalls and breathing accompanied them on their journey. _Where is everyone?_ _Dammit_. Windows were broken and open luggage strewn all over the street. Looting had obviously been an issue until everyone had fled. Some buildings still smoked or burned from where people had no doubt tried to prevent robbery or attack from the creatures. It didn't appear to have been very successful.

"Jill."

His legs abruptly failed him sending the man to his elbows.

"Leon, okay. Sit down and just relax. You must be going into shock so just take some deep breaths for me Orcot."

"Go find D. And ask that bastard where my brother is…"

"Leon this isn't a cop drama, you're not badly hurt so just rest for a second and we can go," she sounded so sure of herself he almost believed her. If only his body would start listening to his commands.

"Just fuckin' listen to me for once."

The woman stuck out her hand, "I'm not arguing with you Orcot. Get your ass up right now. I'm not telling the Count I just left you."

_Yeah, because he'd give a shit. He'd probably be happy to have me off his back._ But he took her hand anyway. He wanted to see D and punch that bastard so hard… her arm looped around his waist and they continued, albeit slowly. Everything was getting a bit blurry, fuzzy in the corners and he wanted to just sit down. Forget D, forget Chris, forget everything. He just felt like he was dying.

"Leon, we're almost to where everyone was on the news. We'll meet up with the swat team and they'll bandage you up. Then we can find the Count so just hang in there."

He didn't answer.

End Chapter

Ha ha the people are kinda like the plaga from Resident Evil 4. Yah shoot em in the head and their head explodes and then these tentacle-y things come out! D: So the monster thingies are kind of a cross between those and the zombie things from the game Siren(which is VERY scary. If you can find a copy you should definitely play!)


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

T-chan head butted him quite viciously in the leg-an action previously reserved only for Detective Orcot. He looked down, sending the totetsu a warning. _How odd. The last time T-chan ever showed aggression towards me was when he intended to devour me._ The Chinese man raised an eyebrow.

"What is it T-chan?"

"Something's not right with the idiot," the horned guy crossed his hands over his chest.

"I think so too Count!" Pon-chan chimed in. She crawled onto his shoulder and tugged on his hair.

"Have you forgotten? Our dear Detective is just that. He works for the police so I'm sure he will be more than fine." He smiled. _How unusual for them to be so worried about Leon._ _Perhaps I should send a bird out to ease their unrest. I wouldn't want them to pass their ideas onto Chris._

"I don't! Count just let me go and look for him and I'll bring him back here."

"Oh very well T-chan. However I will only give you half an hour, do you understand?"

Pon-chan put one of her paws on his face, "me too Count?"

"Oh goodness. Take care not to alert Chris."

They ran off quickly without another word leaving him to sip his tea in peace. In the back of his mind he wondered if it was time yet. These things rarely deviated from schedule however in this particular situation he felt…impatience? He had no doubt that Leon would be fine if not slightly injured as he normally managed to accomplish regardless of the mission. _As long as T-chan and Pon-chan hurry back there is nothing to worry about. Everything will go to plan. Provided that dear Leon does not get himself into trouble that is._

"Count?"

"Oh, hello Chris. What is it that you need?"

"I was wondering…d'you think big brother went to the pet shop to look for us?"

The man set his cup down of the table and gave the boy his full attention. _Perhaps if his aunt and uncle had done so he would be talking. _The thought came up completely unbidden but his face didn't show the surprise he felt at the sudden intrusion.

"It is very likely Chris. Try not to worry too much about him, police officers are used to situations such as this."

"…I…I'm not worried! Um…but…do you think we should check on him?" the child stared at his feet and scratched the back of his neck. A decidedly Leon thing of him to do. _It seems dear Leon has already had a large effect on his brother. Well, it's to be expected of course. Just like Leon-I try to teach them manners and they both ignore me._

"Of course not. So I suppose telling you that T-chan and Pon-chan have gone to ensure your brother's safety will not affect you in any way?"

The boy looked away with a shrug, "I dunno…"

_Just as poor at concealing your emotions too. _D smiled and patted the couch beside him, "why don't you sit down Chris? We can wait for them here."

The blonde boy nodded without another word and kept his eyes firmly on the door as if doing so would make them return quicker. Of course it wouldn't take too long to find Leon seeing as D had an uncanny ability to locate the detective wherever he might be. It had nothing to do with his feelings for Leon however because D was steadfast in his annoyance with humans and the only reason he allowed the loud, obnoxious man around was because having a police officer on his side was decidedly an easy way to make sure he didn't end up in jail. _Not that that has helped me at all so far. Perhaps I should trade him in for that lady detective. _The woman could speak Chinese, wouldn't ruin his pet shop or be rude to his customers. How very…_dull._ He took another sip of tea then plucked a piece of candy out of the container on the table before offering one to Chris. For a second the child's eyes went wide then he stared as if to say 'are you _sure_?'.

"Go ahead Chris. Everyone should have something sweet once and awhile."

While still wearing the same expression Chris quickly removed a blue packaged candy and popped it in his mouth. Then they went back to watching the door. Eventually even the other animals joined them-each vying for the coveted position next to the Count until they all managed to get a decent enough seat so that Chris was pushed right into D's side.

"Hey Count?"

"Yes Chris?"

"…Do…you…Do you really think big bro'll be alright?" his lower lip twitched. _Oh dear…_

He patted the fair haired head, allowing his fingers to comb back the hair to a more presentable position and smiled, "of course. Dear Leon is…what is the word…a 'badass' is he not?"

Chris went silent for a minute then covered his mouth. And burst out laughing. _How like your brother. _"What? What is so funny about me saying things like that?"

"It sounds so wrong!" he continued trying to stifle his laughter-and failing miserably-until he started crying. _How can a human go from one extreme to the other in such a short period of time? _

"What if h-he's not okay?"

"He will be. I will make sure of it. Now don't cry, the animals are getting restless."

In fact they already _had_ gotten restless and were all trying to jump at Chris' face or sit on his lap. _And people say animals are the less intelligent ones. _But he was glad that they had leapt at the chance to comfort the boy-D couldn't honestly say he was very good at it. It was instinct for animals to comfort those in their pack though he had never gotten the hang of saying encouraging words to humans.

~~**~~

"Dammit, where is that idiot?!"

"T-chan, don't get so mad that you don't even _look_ for Leon!" the raccoon pulled on his hair with an annoyed sniff.

"Who's the one who's supposed to be navigating again?!"

"Shut up, it's a big city! Besides, Leon could be _anywhere_!"

The totestu glared at her, "yeah well he's probably close to downtown right? He comes over to see the Count so much he probably knows that place the best."

"He comes to see Chris too!"

"Yeah, whatever. He isn't there to see us anyway. Wait! Hey, I smell him."

She yanked on his hair again, "me too! Let's go, maybe we'll be able to find him soon-we've only got 15 minutes left!"

~~**~~

_Their time is almost up. If they had found him they would have returned by now…Perhaps I should go down and find him myself. Chris isn't here so he would more than likely not notice I'm gone._ The boy had abruptly shaken off his sadness and said he was going to see Honlon which wasn't unusual in itself since the three headed dragon often complained about them being stuck with only each other as company. However the timing was strange. What could Chris possibly have in mind? D glanced at the clock just to the wall on his right, tapping his nails impatiently on his tea cup. How hard could it be to find someone like detective Orcot anyway?

Just as he had gotten to his feet and was preparing to depart Pon-chan pushed open the door before laying down on the floor to catch her breath.

"We-we found him Count!"

"Oh? Where is T-chan?"

"…Well…he stayed there with Leon."

"How strange. Very well, I'll let Chris know."

She grabbed onto the hem of his shirt, "you can't do that! We couldn't get Leon to answer us, he was really quiet and that lady cop was trying to call other people to help her!"

"What? Stay here with Chris, I will return shortly."

_What has he done now? He would be stupid enough to try and fight the Queen but I doubt he would get past the drones…How foolish can one person be?_

It was a strange sensation, travelling from one pet shop to the other. First being stretched then shoved back into his body that felt like a mere speck in the corridor between one building and another. It wasn't all unpleasant though if he could help it he preferred to just move the entire shop from place to place. When he stepped outside the sky was clear and the space around him silent. It was starting for certain now-he only had a small window in which to retrieve the dear detective and then harvest what he needed from the queen on his own. Luckily for him T-chan had left a very distinct path to follow consisting of his own hair. _Or perhaps Pon-chan was pulling it out as they went. _Either way he found the totestu, Jill and Leon in a matter of 10 minutes.

"Count D! How…How did you know we were here?"

"Hey Count."

"I have my ways Ms. Detective," he smiled at her then dropped to his knees.

"He won't even answer me. You think he's…"

"Please give me a detailed account of what happened Ms. Detective," the back of his hand rested on the blonde man's forehead. _As I thought. He __**was**__ a big enough idiot to fight a drone. _

"Well, there are these…things. They look like people but they can't be…One of them jumped out from behind him and I don't know what happened. It looked like some sort of…bug or something. There's a wound on the back of his neck but I didn't get a chance to treat it."

His lips tightened to form a straight line and he managed to pull the large man forward enough to see the barbs sticking out of his neck. _You are indeed very lucky my dear detective._ "I see. Please find me some bandages and a sewing kit."

"You're gonna stitch him up right here Count?!"

She nodded and ran for the nearest house.

"Of course not T-chan. However certain things cannot be seen by the lady detective."

"You mean…_that_?"

"How very astute of you T-chan. Now please ensure that we are not interrupted."

"Alright! Count on me Count!"

His fingertips probed around the area of the injury, inspecting how deep it ran and how much force it would take to remove the foreign bodies from the other man's neck. One hand closed around the group of stick like objects and the other remained flatted around the perimeter. It only took a few pulls before they slid from the neck, bringing with them blood and green infection.

"My dear Leon, I hope you intend to thank me for this," he whispered in the detective's ear.

D pressed the wound, expelling most of the poison then pressed his lips to the flesh. _How unpleasant. I wasted so much of the toxin. Perhaps I can salvage some from the stinger._ His hands worked at stimulating the man's acupoints. He spit out the rest and wiped his mouth deciding that he found human blood rather unpleasant tasting. The entire back of Leon's shirt had been stained with red but his hand twitched. _Good. I was successful._

One of the officer's eyes opened, then the other. Then he jumped forward like someone had kicked him in the back.

"What the hell are you doing D?!"

"Just saving your life my dear detective. However if I knew you would be this ungrateful perhaps I needn't have bothered!"

"Asshole! You just said you wanted to kill me! Death…death threats are illegal!"

He smiled then put a hand on Leon's shoulder, "now now dear Leon, do try to stay still for just a few moments longer."

"What the hell did you do to me?!"

"I just told you-"

"I mean before! At the precinct!"

"That was just a matter of finding the right pressure point my dear detective," his fingernail brushed the blood streaked throat.

"…Where's Chris?"

"He is safe. Though it appears it is _you_ I should be worrying more about."

Leon said nothing until his arm slid around D's waist and pulled him close enough that the previously unconscious man's head could rest on the Asian's shoulder. His face buried itself in the cloth of the stupid dress thing the Count always wore. "…Thank you."

He expected to be pushed away but instead felt a hand on his head, smoothing his hair back-not to make it look better like he'd seen D do with Chris but out of something maybe like…affection? Comfort? It made him tingle like his entire body had fallen asleep and was still trying to get back into the habit of moving. He could feel the other man's breath on his ear, making the few strands of hair not covered in blood dance in the slight breeze.

"O…Oops…I'll just…"

"Ah, Ms. Detective, I see you have retrieved some bandages."

"Er…right!"

Leon pushed D away so quickly the Chinese flew back and landed right on his backside. That got him a glare. _Oh crap. He'll kill me for sure now!_ He rubbed at his face hoping to get the signs of redness to go away. Jill just laughed her annoying, girlish laugh and handed over her cargo.

"I can do it!"

"On the contrary my dear Leon, how would you know where to put the gauze?"

_...Feel around…_He crossed his arms and stared at the building across from them, hating every minute that Jill stood there smiling like she was incredibly satisfied with herself. D wasn't gentle-as usual-and he made short work of patching him up by simply slapping the patch of gauze onto the wound then winding the bandage around Leon's throat. _Why does it feel like he'll strangle me with it?!_ T-chan was surveying them as well, eyes glancing from the Count to the detective as if waiting for something to happen.

"There. That should do for now. Come with me my dear detective, Ms. Detective. We should be getting close to the time and I would prefer if you did not interfere."

"That's bullshit!"

"We have to provide support for the SWAT team Count. It's not a matter of what we want to do."

D got to his feet and brushed off his clothing, "I highly doubt the SWAT team will still be fighting at this point."

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?! What do you know?!"

"Blood pressure my dear detective. I know just as much as you do," he said with the same smile that indicated he knew _much_ more than any of them.

"If anything you should be the one getting somewhere safe Count. You're a civilian after all."

"You are very correct Ms. Detective however if this turns out to be caused by some sort of animal…I would be a valuable asset would I not?"

She frowned, "yes but…I can't allow you to put yourself in danger unnecessarily."

"Just go back and eat cake or something dammit!"

The Chinese man sighed and shook his head, eyes closed, "dear me Mr. detective, you're being so forceful towards a civilian…"

"Shut up! You're a freak anyway!"

"Leon…Okay, how about this. You take the Count back and we'll meet up afterwards with the SWAT," the woman put her hand to her forehead, "that sound okay to you kids?"

"Who're you callin' a fuckin' kid?! I'll-I'll-"

"Ah, a police escort, how wonderful," D put a hand to his mouth then grabbed Leon's arm, "shall we go Mr. Detective?"

"You two call me if you need anything!"

She ran on ahead leaving them to walk the other way. As soon as she was out of sight the blonde man frowned down at D, "what the hell did you say that for?! Now she'll think we're fuckin'…homos or something!"

"Calm down my dear Leon. Now come, we will have to beat her to downtown. The Queen won't be happy with any sort of intrusion."

"Wh-What the hell are you talking about?!"

End of chapter

D sharing his candy?! What blasphemy is this?! I just thought it would be cute :'D Cause D isn't exactly the master of cheering people up is he? I bet Chris was thinking "…but you eat sweets every day…."orz". Okay, I totally admit I ripped off the 'he's a badass' part from MGS4. In one of the codec calls to Otacon he proclaims Snake is 'the shit'. Chris went to go see Honlon because he wanted to see D's real reaction-since Shuugo(?) cried in V.10 and she's the head that represents D. Lol D uses acupuncture. I was gonna use chakra points but…yeah…one of those is in the prostrate apparently? :'D The hug scene was actually very hard for me to write. Because I wanted to keep them in character. I think maybe Leon might be slightly ooc but I blame that on the "omg thank god my little brother and my husband guy I hate so much but still go over to see all the time are safe" thing. I wanted him to show his relief in a way which couldn't be misinterpreted so he says thank you even though I doubt Leon would ever be THAT over dramatic about the whole thing :'D


End file.
